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Compare & Despair Syndrome...

5/11/2016

7 Comments

 
Picture

Let’s face it.  There will always be someone who is smarter, richer, more beautiful, more famous, more fit, or SOMETHING we covet.  Always.  Isn’t that a relief?  It should be.  It takes the pressure off to be perfect or someone else which is impossible.  Each one of us is so profoundly and beautifully unique, you wouldn’t compare one rose to another based on beauty would you?  ALL roses are beautiful. So it really is silly to compare you to me and me to you.  

We can aspire to be MORE of who we already are but when you tread in the realm of wanting to be someone else, it is soul crushing.  Nothing will stomp out your fire of imagination, creativity, and love of life faster than comparison and its brother, envy. It is a complete energy drain. AND not only that, it is a slap in the face of the Creator.   
So rise up and use these feelings of inadequacy to optimize YOU.  Write a gratitude list.  Next write ALL of your best qualities and accomplishments, ALL of them.  Dig deep.  Now think about HOW you want to feel. Because underneath a feeling of inadequacy is a feeling of wanting.  What are those feelings? What do you long for? To feel empowered, valued, strong, affluent, innovative, connected, recognized, inspired, abundant, free, etc.  This is what you are searching for, really and truly.  Not more money. Longer and leaner legs. The spotlight. Our desires are all linked to a feeling and if you are able to identify that FEELING then you can start to work on how to create that feeling in your life without the attachment to something unhealthy and soul sucking!  

Healthy aspirations are soul affirming and they lift you up because they are in alignment with who you already are.  Give yourself the permission to expand your vision of who you could be if you were able to just remove the shackles of fear.  How can you be more true to yourself?  Where are you playing it small?  Just taking one baby step in that direction will give you the energy and fortitude to take the next bigger step.  Be grateful for YOUR journey and the path you are on, it is no better or worse than someone else’s journey no matter how it appears.  Have faith and love your SELF!

7 Comments
Rosemary Hygate
5/11/2016 08:26:11 pm

Good blog Denice. How is it that women have such a hard time 'tooting their own horn'? I think we have been conditioned to take the back seat....in my case I blame the nuns!!! Eight years of convent boarding school....eight of the most emotionally barren years of my life....apart from those I was married that is!!!! I have worked hard to become my own person, and there is always more work to do....but being aware is a huge part of it. Keep up the blogs...I love the way your mind works!! BTW the hat looked perfect...Royal Ascot is next!!

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Denice
5/13/2016 06:52:56 pm

Thank you Rosemary! I believe that many of us are taught to "be good" and to not "brag" as children and this is something that haunts us as adults. But to be proud of our accomplishments allows others with humility is so different from bragging! So be proud, you have accomplished many things! Royal Ascot here we come! Cheers!
denice

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Audrey Huntsinger
5/11/2016 09:13:36 pm

I loved reading this and it came at such a good time, as I am on a journey of self-discovery and healing. I am doing what it takes to do the next big thing....love myself as God loves me!

Reply
Denice
5/13/2016 06:54:04 pm

I know one thing for sure...you are one incredible woman Audrey!! Give yourself a hug until I see you next!
denice

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Laurie
5/13/2016 08:06:19 am

Beautiful. Very motivating, very inspiring. Thank you.

Reply
Denice
5/13/2016 06:55:47 pm

Thank you for your kind words Laurie, it is such a joy (not to mention cathartic!) to write and to have it touch even a few lives!

Reply
Triah
5/13/2016 09:07:16 pm

Denice, you have inspired and impressed me over the years. Your growth and heart are a thing of beauty. Comparison is soul crushing and a daily struggle. The "shoulder" from others only compound upon the already silent, unspoken self "should's" and the struggle becomes heavier. So much work to be done...

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    let yourself be silently drawn by the strange pull of what you really love. It will not lead you astray.  -Rumi

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Denice A. Chenault • Youngevity Ambassador • Life Coach 
  • home
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