Tom has been gone for a total of 13 days and I always joke that the "alone time" is nice...for about 3 days. And then the quiet sets in and I can't wait for him to come home. So this is a long stretch of time, but last year we were away from each other for about 20 days, however both of us were traveling in far away lands, separate but busy.
So the solitude this time around is different for me. It made me think about those who live alone, either by choice or by a life event like divorce or death. I really got in touch with that feeling of aloneness. I was never lonely, I was always productive and connected so that didn't happen. (And oh, did I mention that I had the entire interior of the house painted while Tom was gone...if you need a good painter who talks a lot, to himself, let me know!!)
But I reached out to a hand full of people that I knew were alone, just to chat. They all were so grateful to have someone say to them, "hey I was just thinking about you." That is all it takes.
And death. I have been thinking about death a lot. Not in a fearful way, more of an introspective way. I read every one of the obituaries in the New York Times this morning. I don't know...I like to piece together the story of someone's life. One obit was written by the person himself, a journalist of course, his "last byline." It was beautiful. Here's the good news, of the 35 obituaries, 13 of the people were over 90 years old when they passed and 7 were in their 80's. That is pretty good odds. Those that passed in their 60's and 70's were all attributed to cancer and one at age 25 was suicide. I think it is good that we know the cause, that is the brutal beauty of being a human being. Some of us out there (our brothers and sisters, cause we are ALL connected) have harder times living in this life.
I had a conversation last night with a friend who lost her son at age 25 to a drug overdose this summer. We spoke almost the whole hour about death. Without tears. Just the reality of the process of letting go/not letting go of someone you love. But also knowing that their soul continues on and the beauty and comfort that that holds. I was so grateful to connect with her in this way. Don't push away the hard stuff.
So on this absolutely beautiful Sunday, say I LOVE YOU to those around you and make a call to someone you know who might be alone and tell them you are thinking about them. I am heading to my Mom's for a lovely Sunday dinner, feeling grateful.
let yourself be silently drawn by the strange pull of what you really love. It will not lead you astray. -Rumi
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