It’s not that spring is around the corner, because this started in January. I suddenly became weary of everything in my home that was mediocre. For most of my life I bought things based on price instead of quality, because frankly, that’s what I could afford. Everything was always bought “on sale.” It may not have been the exact color that I wanted or the exact size, but “what the heck, it will work!” Whether it was kitchen items, linens, clothing, shoes, handbags, you name it, a deal is a deal.
Then this year I just got fed up. I was still using the same crappy pot and pans that, get this, I “won” based on points I accumulated from our bank accounts! So I was shipped these very expensive looking Emeril pots and pans, all silver and shiny about four years ago!. Then I put them on the stove and found out that “free” may not equate to quality!! But I was still using them.
Finally one day in January I asked myself “WHY DO YOU HOLD ON TO THINGS THAT SUCK??” Good question. And I thought about it. I believe it goes back to when I was a kid and we were taught to take care of things because “if you lose it or wreck it, that’s it!” So here I am, 49 years old and I still feel the same way. I DO take really good care of my “things.” Ask Tom. And I never lose anything, I know exactly where my stuff is at all times. But believe me, I am not at all a pack rat or a hoarder. I like order. I have just made due with most everything that I bought five or ten years ago.
So I decided that it was time to actually replace the crappy, bought on-sale stuff with things of quality. I chose based on two requirements: “DO YOU LOVE IT?” “IS IT GREAT QUALITY?” What a fantastic feeling to be able to choose freely!! And now I have started to give away everything that I didn’t like. It is a process. But I sure as heck started with the pots and pans!
I don’t think that this exercise has anything to do with money or your income. I believe that you can do this, even if it is just one item a month that you replace, knowing that you will probably have the new “chosen” item for 5, 10, 20 or more years. Start with the things that you use every day. A handbag, a sauté pan, a blow dryer, bed linens. What would make your heart sing every time you picked it up? START THERE!
And then I realized that purging the mediocrity wasn’t just about “stuff!” I needed to raise the bar on myself. I needed to take my integrity up a level. I needed to show up more and better to my friends and family. I needed to generate MORE in our business. I needed to “handle” some stuff that scared me. Wow! When I realized that little nugget I almost wanted to put all the crap back up on the shelves and call it a day! But I didn’t and I am so happy. Because it feels so good to be “clean.” Happy purging, go take it up a notch!!
I had a wonderful conversation today with an amazing woman in my business. She is smart, witty, caring and compassionate. And obese. Her words, not mine. She told me that she had been asked by an organization who trains professionals in our industry what they could do better. She told them that she noticed that with their women’s event that not one speaker was full figured. They did take note of her observation. In addition, she said to me that a woman had told her that she would have signed up in this lady’s business earlier if she had seen a significant weight loss from my friend. Hmmm I thought.
This conversation was on the heels of the Oscar award scandal, #OscarsSoWhite, that took place three nights earlier. And the whole thing just made me really sad. It was the combination of my conversation with this beautiful and talented woman, coupled with the sting of the Oscars, and throw in the absolute disgracefulness of the political LEADERS vying for our votes and I slipped into a heavy heart. Diversity. Why in the world in 2016 is diversity and MORE IMPORTANTLY our acceptance of diversity, an issue??!! Why is it that someone’s sex, weight, ethnicity, religion, sexual orientation, socio-economic status, age, and/or political beliefs an issue that continues to separates us?
After a long pause I said to my friend, “This just makes me really sad that we are having this conversation at all. To me, the size of your waist means nothing, it is the size of your heart that I care about. AND the fact of the matter is that 30% of the country is obese and they are looking for YOU to show them that it is not their SIZE that matters! It is their happiness, their health, their self esteem and what they do in the world to make it a better place that MATTERS! They are looking for you to give them inspiration and courage to show up in the world and most importantly to demonstrate to them how to LOVE themselves, no matter what their waist size is.” She took all this in and I could tell that she was touched and moved. Her entire motivation is to end suffering in the world, two legged and four legged beings! What an incredible mission.
I heard from different conversations around the Oscar awards that people where just tired of the “whining” around the issue. Jaw drop, double take. WHAT??!! WHINING?! If I had been present in that conversation (I wasn’t, this was second hand), I would have asked “when, pray tell, in YOUR life have you ever been discriminated against? Oh never? Well then, my dear, you don’t get to complain about the “whining!” But of course, I would say this with love. Wink. Because the bottom line is that this is really just an issue of education. And sometimes we need to firmly but lovingly EDUCATE those around us. Speak up. Don’t be silent, especially when you get that knot in your stomach that makes you want to run away and not say anything. Be brave. Do it for those who need to be spoken up for and most importantly, do it for yourself. AND if you can say it with love, bravo, you just moved up one more rung on the enlightenment ladder!
let yourself be silently drawn by the strange pull of what you really love. It will not lead you astray. -Rumi
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